I took them to a museum.). Tried to throw a slightly neglected baby doll into the toy basket and my three year old shrieked THATS MY DAUGHTER! Here Are The Funniest Tweets Of The Week. You now tell the people behind you in mini golf to play through.. This is exactly why I wanted chips! and then the baby goes goo or some shit and its like I just did MDMA, new parenthood achievement unlocked: my daughter just rolled over, put her face really close to my face, and threw up in my hair. when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you. She already knows way too much about the apocalypse. Put it down in front of him and he was like these are grapes? He just wanted some grapes. I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 30 Fresh And Funny Parenting Memes From This Week (May 29, 2023) by Jason. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! (A museum. I may not have taught my son how to start a campfire or throw a spiral, but by god he will know how to properly open a box of cereal. So I googled a crepe recipe, made a crepe even though I never have before. Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide. "'Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food?' Grandparents are so wild. Felt very proud that my 10 yr old researched the history and culture of a Bavarian town we were visiting this weekend until she went on to speak in a German accent throughout our stay. Part of HuffPost Parenting. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My 5 yo lost her first tooth and wanted to bring her tooth fairy swag to school to flex on her friends. My 4-year-old says the wrong name for many things. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Of course she didnt listen & when she fell, I was like exactly. (that was a week ago) This morning, I tripped over my charger and she yelled EXACTLY! Giving up the gift of sight is crazy , Indian parents on Easter be like, look the bunny brought you some math worksheets, Thrilled to announce that instead of saying What are you doing? my 2-year-old child goes around asking, in a tiny haunting voice, What have you done?, My kid just learned uh oh spaghettios but he keeps forgetting and is yelling oh no noodles instead. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The pregnant lighter, LOL. (Seriously, why are they so expensive oh, right, cause . My teens' rooms have literally become the Bermuda Triangle for our dishes and cutlery. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! I want my 13 year old to understand how important honesty is but also know that she is 12 when kids eat free. Obsessed with travel? Ladies, we are creeping up on the 2-year anniversary of the first batch of Moms Are At Their Breaking Point Covid think-pieces. 8 yo, singing quietly to himself "dancing queen, young and sweet, only seven teeth". My son is sick so his voice is all congested-sounding and he asked me for crepes for breakfast. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc. I used the old I gave birth to you on my daughter, she said That was one time. Now that 2022 is coming to an end, it's time to spotlight the most hilarious tweets of them all. My son was crying that he wanted apple juice tonight and my mom was like Ill run to the store real quick! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I made my bed and found a half eaten stick of butter in it. 4 says all these cars are in line for gas. Well, school is now officially out for many moms and dads, and will soon be out for the rest of us, so time to buckle up and see if you've got a few extra hundred thousand dollars lying around for summer camp. I cant stop laughing. That's all, folks! Stories that matter to you. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. No one: My 8yo on the 3rd of January: So what are we doing for Halloween? 6: why does J have two mommies?Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy all families look diff-6: I wish I had two mommies My husband: My teen said I was old and out of touch. So, I sent my kid into preschool with a little bag of white powder for show and tell. 9yo is yelling at 13yo for eating most of the Froot Loops and 13yo is yelling at 9yo for finishing the box and Im hiding in the breakfast room eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and hoping they dont notice me because I dont want to share. How do you plan to celebrate? His prescription glasses that he cannot see without. last night I told my four year old I loved her and she said I love you so much that if someone chopped your head off Id carry it around forever in a bag, There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! my child, about to be shook. Another convo with my dad LMFAO https://t.co/bE0pikT89K pic.twitter.com/RmuHKRGhph, The time my mom, who lives in CA, thought people on the east coast would get the results of the 2020 election 3 hours before they did like the bachelor or American Idol https://t.co/w803hd1fqD pic.twitter.com/Z7t3OXskKE, NOOO THEY BANNED CHILLING pic.twitter.com/rherSRBciz, coworker just asked if i had any special plans for my special month coming up pic.twitter.com/fr1KxAskSH, my grandmother with dementia in the kitchen at 4 am pic.twitter.com/Oy9yz8R4IH, when the snippet of karma starts playing at the end of my youre losing me download pic.twitter.com/UItkb6GLZl, karma takes all my friends to the summit pic.twitter.com/CBhjCKhTl7, Someone: you pickme: pic.twitter.com/SgIXT8AGE0, Talking to my friends who arent online pic.twitter.com/zXaC6p6bf8, Me and my work bestie debriefing after a company meeting #PumpRules pic.twitter.com/hhhY6TjQNR, bout to put this fit on and go get my man pic.twitter.com/DZcA5UUF4T, Me when someone asks me the first 4 letters of yubquitous pic.twitter.com/LJrODt37Ok, aw shes pregnant :) pic.twitter.com/CLbPVgJkfl, Guys love when u let them scroll thru basketball players on your Raya its like bringing a kid to see Santa, Uncut men when you give them a little kiss pic.twitter.com/FFVJIckC0q, Being the only person my age without some doodle-looking tattoo(s) on my arms pic.twitter.com/Re4Rz6S2Do.

Itll just take a second!. My mom told me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids at her house. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Just looked around at their stuff. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. The fact that my 8 year old farted in my face RIGHT after I told him that Id had a terrible day has me thinking that all those fairytales about parents leaving their kids in the woods may have actually been true stories. My 10-year-old gets to bring 1 stuffed animal to school. I showed the kid and he gasped. The 50 Most Hilarious Tweets From Parents In 2022 "'Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food?' my child, about to be shook." By Caroline Bologna Dec 30, 2022, 05:45 AM EST Every week, we round up funny tweets from moms and dads. Im leaning toward nervous breakdown, but open to ideas. 4yo: Mom found this house and no one was home there, so we just went in.Him: You just went in?4yo: Yeah. Follow me for more parenting tips. Jul 22, 2022, 01:58 PM EDT. News, Politics, Culture, Life, Entertainment, and more. We're bringing back the best tweets of the week. ", thoughts and prayers for my daughter who misunderstood evolution and is now mourning that she didnt morph from a kitten, Parenting little kids is mostly screaming "What the fuck!" Caroline Bologna. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Now that 2022 is coming to an end, its time to spotlight the most hilarious tweets of them all. 5 said she doesnt need to go to school anymore because she can already count up to 10 and thats enough because she probably wont ever eat more than 10 cupcakes. Him: you know too much of my personal business. Every week, we round up funny tweets from moms and dads. I tell all 3 of my kids that they are the password child. in your head, but really saying things like "No thank you, I do not want to hold your booger.". "I'll see you later today" I whisper, as I pack a sandwich in my kid's lunchbox. Part of HuffPost Parenting. This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). While teaching your teen to drive just know it's totally normal if you keep having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling. Apparently my kid got in trouble today for PACKING OUR TOASTER IN HIS BACKPACK and pulling it out at lunch to make pop tarts for his class. ! , the teacher asked my kindergartner what his favorite season was and he said garlic salt. My 5 year old squeezed my hand and said Daddy, I dont do busy and Ive never related to him more, Ive never met a better negotiator than a kid who doesnt want to go to sleep. My 4yo went through my phone and confronted me like I cheated on her, "you took a lot of pictures of this baby". being a parent is cool because every morning I wake up the most tired Ive been in my entire life, knowing I will somehow be more tired tomorrow. After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. Parenting is a lot like talking to an automated phone attendant. Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, In a pie-eating contest, it doesnt matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie. I think about that a lot. Whether you want to laugh on your way to work, send a meme or two to a friend . Check out the 50 best parenting tweets of the year below, and follow HuffPost Parents on Twitter for even more laughs. Thinking about the time my 3yo forgot the name for chicken nuggets and called them orange meat cookies. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. You do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. It's adorable, but I do try to help him say the correct word. When I asked my child if she put anything in mommys bed, she said I did not put butter in it. The mystery continues. My 5yo asked me if we could go to someone elses house because he says we go to our house a lot. Great British Bake Off but you pair every contestant with a 3-year-old who really wants to help. pic.twitter.com/dSrcdSxB6S, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook, I asked my 3 yr old to stop running through the house. I told my 2yo I was coming to his preschool holiday party and he looked really worried and said, but what chair will you sit in? Glad to know anxiety about literally nothing is genetic. And if you love what you read, be sure to like and follow these Twitter users for an A+ timeline. Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. My child is disappointed to learn that I, a burn surgeon, have never treated someone for a lava-related injury. Just like a boy doing anything to impress a girl. US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. More at 11. Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton. "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice". By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Felt like wallowing in self pity today so I googled the net worth of my kids favorite YouTuber. When my daughter was 3 she charged like $380 buying movies and shows on Amazon Prime. Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice. ! Had no idea, Apparently this is what I look like to my son. pic.twitter.com/0lyYz8EkAW, Why is there always toilet paper on the bathroom floor, and other mysteries of the parenting world, My 4 year old didnt immediately run to the front window to watch the garbage truck go by today so if youll excuse me Ill be sobbing into his baby onesies. My son was disappointed to realize that the US team was playing a country called Wales and not a large group of whales in what I guess he imagined to be a large soccer-seaworld extravaganza. My 3 yr old asked if He could play with some cock & balls. One of yall sons has a crush on my daughter and gave her his glasses today. And to read more tweets of the week, click. She is 13 going on 14 and she will be watching that content until she goes to college. So far shes narrowed it down to 947 candidates. My 7 yo just asked ME when was his birthdate. I took a picture of a kid's chest x-ray to show the family (he had pneumonia). I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. You're hopeful at first, but then just end up repeating yourself and yelling. when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you, My kid asked me for a burrito but without all the yucky stuff inside so Im pretty sure he wants a tortilla, Welcome to parenthood. Just heard my 4 year old say "it's time to milk the farm dog" and my 2 yo squeal "YEAH" and I better go see what they're doing, I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little, Me: I'm struggling with some demons todayWife: I thought I told you to stop calling our kids that. ".

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